Femininity isn’t just dresses and respectability; it has a darker and equally powerful side.
Read Time: 4 Minutes
There’s no denying the disconnect between Modern Feminism and the New Femininity Movement. Femininity is seen as regressive and repressive, while feminism is seen as necessary for our (femmes) survival, and understandably so. Femininity is viewed as a liability in our society because our society is traditionally patriarchal and anti-feminine; however, I believe femininity has been misunderstood and dangerously underestimated. To its detriment, femininity is typically only described as the embodiment of reception, passivity, and gentility, or complete submission to the masculine. However, this one-sided depiction leaves out other fundamental aspects of the feminine. I believe that the uncovering and the teaching of the Dark Feminine is a significant key to uniting all women and progressing into a harmonious future with our masculine counterparts.
The Dark Feminine is not necessarily the “naughty” or the “negative” aspect of the Feminine, nor is it always the embodiment of the Whore. At the same time, the lighter side of femininity is the Madonna. The Dark Feminine is the expression of the dark, positive, and necessary energy that captures the mysteries of womanhood and magic, the chaos of creation and destruction, death and birth, transformation, rage, fierce compassion, seduction, and pure spiritual ecstasy.
In myth and religion, the dark feminine is expressed by Goddesses Kali, Lilith, Innana, Lakshmi, Oya, and Isis. In the media, we can see the dark feminine expressed in public figures like Monica Bellucci, Angelina Jolie, Rihanna, Beyonce, Megan Foxx, and Kerry Washington as Olivia Pope in Scandal.
These goddesses play roles in religions, myths, and stories that often depict them as being pushed into their shadow by circumstance or pushing others into their own shadow to transform and ascend, experience “death,” and be reborn.
When a woman has a healthy relationship with the dark feminine energy inside of her, she can access incredible amounts of creative energy. She is often very comfortable in her body and expressing herself sexually. When a woman is in tune with the dark feminine, her sexual energy has the potential to engulf and overtake the sexuality of a man completely. The dark feminine woman is also often wildly seductive and sensual, attracting both men and women’s attention a la Robyn “Rihanna” Fenty. Dark feminine energy also helps a woman to heal her wounded feminine by giving her the strength and courage needed to create boundaries and communicate clearly about her wants and needs. She transforms from a victim to an agent of radical change. She becomes an alchemist.
Many feminine women have been socialized only to acknowledge their Light Feminine side while often suppressing their darker aspects. They bury their rage, fierceness, and their ability to manifest and seduce because they have been told that this is “unladylike.” Many men end up marrying women who suppress their dark feminine energy because society tells them that they are safer options. However, they secretly lust after “darker” women and silently wish to explore the dark masculine energy they possess themselves. These types of men become incessant cheaters and strayers who “covet” their suppressed feminine counterpart while simultaneously indulging in the unbridled power of a dark feminine woman, whether it’s a prostitute, a stripper, or just a woman who is adept in the dark feminine.
The polar opposite of a woman who completely suppresses her dark feminine energy is a woman who is entirely controlled by it. These women can be dangerous to themselves and others, causing emotional and even sexual harm. Untamed dark feminine energy can make you reckless, toxic, and unable to access light feminine aspects like the ability to experience empathy, be receptive, nurturing, intuitive, and radiant. The Dark Feminine’s negative aspects tend to be closely related to psychological issues such as hysteria, alcohol and drug abuse, and depression.
Shadow work, or confronting your inner world’s suppressed aspects, will help you become more comfortable with your entire self, dark and light. Psychologically and spiritually, you must come to terms with the shame, self-doubt, trauma, repressed emotions, and desires you have been burying. Accepting and nurturing these feelings will lead to a deeper understanding of your true nature, giving you access to the potent magic of the dark feminine.
As expressed in the books 50 Shades of Grey and 365 Days, the dark masculine has a way of calling forth this energy within us. Therefore, my following key to accessing your dark feminine is allowing yourself to experience a man who has a healthy relationship with his dark masculine. The Masculine counter is comfortable expressing his sexuality and emotions yet has impeccable control over both. Experiencing such a man will give you a safe space to explore your darkness without judgment.
To truly understand the power of femininity, we must understand the Divine Feminine as a whole. The complexities must be acknowledged and integrated into our idea of what a feminine woman is. When we (as a society) fully embrace our light and dark aspects, we unlock our limitless potential.
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