Establishing Traditions:
A Lost Feminine Art
Create memories better than any Hallmark movie!
By: Kyla Brown
- ♡
- ♡ Femininity, Lifestyle
Read Time: 6 Minutes
The holiday season in the western world is a very idyllic time. During this time, family is pedestalized and images of perceived “happiness” are shoved down our throats. For those of us who experienced less than idyllic childhoods, this time of year can be difficult to navigate. When the culture of your household lacked key components like connection, structure, or support, you may feel like you’re lacking something other people inherently have. Even if your home culture was sound, it could’ve been interrupted by health or economic issues. Either way, you are all grown up now, and whether you’re intentional about it or not, you’re developing a home culture of your own. Whether you’re single, partnered, or parenting, the responsibility of cultivating connection, structure, or support is on your shoulders. And it’s totally normal to feel as if that responsibility is a heavy load, especially if you never had childhood examples.
Whether you’re single, partnered, or parenting, the responsibility of cultivating connection, structure, or support is on your shoulders. And it’s totally normal to feel as if that responsibility is a heavy load, especially if you never had childhood examples.
Sometimes Christmas makes me feel like I belong on the Island of Misfit Toys. My grief for missing what I never had, my family, and my childhood tend to flare up around this time of year. This year, I realized I could decide to be a full-on Grinch or I could take a whack at what I never had: traditions. Traditions are beliefs or behaviors with symbolic meaning or special significance passed down within a group. Also, traditions aren’t reserved for holidays or a birthday, they could be as simple as a Taco Tuesday. Anytime you need a simple way to memorialize a moment or bring people together. The best part is these moments and people are decided by you and your values
In many ways, traditions are a lost feminine art. From making things with your hands to hosting loved ones. Now, you don’t have to go full-on Suzie Homemaker to cultivate traditions, but you need to tap into the key components of tradition:
The Key Components Of Establishing Traditions
- Intention: Set your intention for each tradition in your life. Be deliberate about why you’re doing them. How do you want to feel during the tradition? What will this tradition bring to the lives of you and those participating?
- Comfort: As you plan your traditions try to implement all five senses to create a robust and memorable experience for all those participating.
- Personal: Consider what you love doing or what you want to try, then implement! Feeling obligated is a femininity killer. Your traditions will only last if they hold significance to you and your people, so do not do them simply because you “should”.
- Enjoyable: Keep things light and fun as you plan and participate in your traditions. Embrace imperfection because if things don’t go to plan you can make adjustments as you go or the next time the tradition comes around.
While establishing traditions for yourself and your loved ones, you’ll begin creating memories better than any Hallmark Christmas movie could perform. It may start off foreign to you, but with time your traditions will become natural, and even essential. Start with one or two, then grow from there. As time goes on, your traditions will grow into a healthy home culture.
Establishing Your Own Traditions
Here are some ideas to test solo or with friends:
- Scrapbooking and photo albums didn’t disappear with 1980s housewives. These are fun creativity exercises for the crafty girlies.
- Organize a gifting group with two or more good girlfriends. Pick out a gift for the year that you all love and everyone will pitch in $50 for each woman’s birthday. It’s friendship bracelets on an adult level.
- Paint night is a classic! Pick one Friday night out of the month to pour up the vino, light a candle, and get your artistic juices flowing.
- Try having a full-on 30-step self-grooming night each month.
If you are a mama, wife, or both, you could consider establishing family traditions as your family’s feminine guide:
- Purchase themed ornaments to hang on the tree for the holidays. Each ornament will symbolize your past year and over time you’ll build a really cool collection.
- Commit to one annual volunteering event as a group. Not only does volunteering promote service and gratitude, but it can create lovely memories for you and your loved ones.
- Take your couple’s date to the next level with the Life Dinner Method. This will create a structured one-on-one check-in time that you and your partner can look forward to.
- On someone’s special day, decorate a large celebration poster for everyone to sign (summer school style) instead of buying a card.
Use the purpose of your traditions as your guiding light. Whether it’s self-care or community, keep your traditions simple and meaningful to reduce the pressure. At the end of the day, life is short and time flies so invest time and energy into experiencing pleasure in your life. Don’t forget to catch us on Instagram @letssweettalk and check out these quick reads for more on establishing traditions and healthy home culture:
